Diffusing A Tantrum

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Whether it be the terrible two’s, or as old as a teenager, Some children are just naturally angry. And despite your best efforts to control them, sometimes stopping an outburst of anger is inevitable. So just as well generally they have a short attention span, which of course includes a tantrum.

The biggest mistake, not to mention the most common as well, is that parents will just respond to anger with more anger. This accomplishes nothing more than adding fuel to a fire. Replying to a tantrum with a harsh tone, screaming, and losing control yourself is basically being no better than the child you are trying to control. This can also cause them to think that being angry is ok and part of normal behavior.

It quite often takes a strong willed and focused parent to effectively diffuse a tantrum. There a are number of ways this can be achieved. First of all, and most importantly, you must without fail keep yourself calm and collected. Respond and talk to your child in a mild yet firm tone. Look into their eyes and keep a perfectly straight face while doing this.

Obviously, they want to get something their way, so let them know that this isn’t going to happen. Follow through with your plan, and very importantly, make sure that you and if applicable, your spouse deal with them in exactly the same manner every time this happens. As soon as you lose consistency with your method of discipline, your child will learn that they can possibly weasel their way out of the situation.

If they are going overboard in their ranting and raving, sometimes giving them no attention what so ever can do the trick. If you can tell that all they want is attention, show them by means of this method that this is not how they can achieve it

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Setting A Good Example For Your Child

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I am never ceased to be amazed at how many parents these days simply ignore what is the single biggest factor in a child’s upbringing- Example. If you find yourself, for example, frequently shouting or even using bad language in front of your child, and struggle to keep them well behaved, then this problem is somewhat easily solved.

Now some parents will naturally struggle with this more than others, but setting a good example for their children to follow is often the most important thing they can do in regards to their mental development. As you would know, children frequently have a short attention span. And listening to a verbal instruction is also frequently forgotten or disregarded.

But, if your child frequently sees you doing what you want them to do, then this sinks into their minds far more effectively. If you are always polite and speak calmly with others, including them, then they begin to learn that this is normal and expected behavior. Same applies with sharing, accomplishing tasks in a timely manner, taking pride in your work, and your general composure. One way you can get your child actively involved is to get them to participate in a task you are already involved in. This shows them that what is good for you is also good for them.

Remember, a child spends the first couple of years of their life not knowing how to speak or understand speech. What they learn in this time is almost always what they observe. Whether you like it or not, you child will most likely grow up to be very similar to you. The way you act and the way you think. So the next time your child misbehaves, will you ask yourself “Am I doing or not doing this myself?”

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